Getting Lost Crossing the Social Media Road

As we approach the next two years of electioneering, there will be many who cross the road, principally Southern Democrats and older Northern Democrats -- both back to being Reagan Republicans to spite, or in spite of, Barack Obama.

But why did in fact the chicken cross the road? You will, no doubt, have your own answer. But following is how others might respond to that question:

• George W. Bush: I was wrong about why the chicken crossed the road. There’s was nothing on the other side of the road that threatened the hen house, so I now think the reason that it crossed the road was that it said it was going to do so -- and golly, you know it just had to. I’m proud of that chicken for sticking to its word – now, of course, there was that semi about half way across…….white or dark meat?
  

• Bill Clinton: Now do you mean the chicken with the white feathers, or the one with the slightly white feathers -- in which, and in either case --I categorically deny ever seeing either of them cross the road, lay down in the road, or have anything else to do with the road in question, maybe.

• Albert Einstein: Relatively speaking -- whether the chicken crossed the road, or the road moved beneath the chicken -- determines the answer to this question; indeed, whether there is a question, or only a series of moving answers.

• John Kerry: Self evidently, the fowl traversed the roadway seeking a better way, means and life for itself, and its 14 offspring, 21 immediate family members, 74 distant relatives and, let me add, that to cross the roadway and not shirk the responsibility of crying out, foul, foul, gives us pause to consider there may be profound and salubrious reasons to believe that our right and just nation should endeavor to persevere.

• Sigmund Freud: Could it be indicative of fears of inadequacy that the question is asked in the first place?
  

• Buddha: What is the sound of a chicken crossing the road on one foot?
  

• Agent Muldar: What do you mean, chicken crossing the road? Did you see a chicken crossing the road? Are you sure it was a chicken? How many more chickens must you see before you understand they are really aliens?
  

• The Reverend Al Sharpton: The road is undoubtedly a black macadam road, whereupon this almost certainly white leghorn chicken trods her heavy, clawed (and more than likely diseased) foot.
  

• Rush Limbaugh: Across the road? Is that where I have to go now to get my medicine?
  

• Ayn Rand: But of what benefit is it for the chicken and myself to cross the road at the same time? I will tell you: clarity. Now give me those eggs; they’re mine.
  

• Richard Nixon: I am not a crook. Not one penny's worth of chicken feed ever found its way into my pocket. And I did not, repeat, did not, steal that chicken's road.
  

• Gloria Steinem: Of course --- cook the meals, have the kids, cross the road --- of course.
  

• Al Gore: There are voters on the other side of the road; voters disenfranchised and not permitted to vote for me, the president in defect, er, effect.
  

• Mitt Romney: But how much does it cost to cross the road? And then how are we going to get “them” to pay for it?

• Sarah Palin: Cross the road?? Is that like cross-dressing?

The truth of the matter, however, is that the chicken crossed the road because that's where the rooster was.

And what roads should we now cross?

According to Facebook and others in our now social media manipulated world, we are crossing the road to end up in a land which supposes the preciousness of pure democracy.

However, what in fact pure democracy does is destroy the middle ground – the only place where the dialogue to achieve sane governance can be held.

Lunch anyone?